The American Decline.

So let's talk about what we're all thinking and most of us (myself included) are just a bit apprehensive to broach for fear of disappearing to gitmo one day.
The things that burn in most of our minds these days is the massive, utterly complete lack of ethics and morals in the current regime.
We, the people know it's wrong and the current system is broken.
Actually, let me rephrase that.
The system isn't broken, the people that administer the system are irrevocably tainted.
They are no longer capable of discerning what is truly in the best interest of the people.
Only what is in the best interest of their wallets.
How did things get like this?
Truthfully? 
We let it happen. We sat back and got full on our super-sized lives, while they gutted this great country.
It's our fault for being complacent.
It's our fault for not wanting to rock the boat out of fear of places like Gitmo.
I accept my part of that blame, but now it comes to this.
We cannot, as a country, continue to live like this.
Our country is already almost beyond the point of no return.
But there is still a chance.
When the founding fathers designed our governmental system, they designed it so that we could do exactly what I'm trying to do right now.
Get you thinking about what's in your best interest.
For some, that is just letting it happen and living with whatever is given.
For other though, it is about being that change when no one else seems able to.
Someone has to start it off, it has to happen.
We can't wait until it's too late.
The words and ideas I am presenting here (even though protected by the very constitution that is being threatened on a daily basis) are still dangerously close to that line and word that even I don't want to say, mostly because of a great program called echelon.
You know what I'm saying, you get my point.
The time has come to be the change that we're too scared to ask for.
Time for this way of life to end, and for a new beginning to this once great country.
I am proud to be an American, yet I have never been so ashamed of my country in my entire life.
I would die for this country, even though I never served in the military.
I for one will not sit idly by and watch it all go away, leaving nothing but chaos and death for my children and their children.
The very thing I'm alluding to is something that none of us want to contemplate.
I can now imagine what the citizens of this country felt at the onset of the civil war.
A lust for what they each felt was right.
A willingness to kill and die for what they believed in.
Then came the doubts.
Seeing life long friends and family on the other side of the field.
Could I endure that?
I don't know, I like to think I could if it came to it.
It's a horrifyingly sad day when we are forced to think about that.
But it's coming.
Of that there is no doubt.
It's just a matter of which spark is going to set off the powder keg.
What's going to be our Boston Tea Party?
Whatever may come, I hope I'm ready for it and will do my best to defend those that can't defend themselves, should such events come to pass.
I stand before you now, and I pledge that I will be ready to stand when the call goes out and I will defend my country from anyone, even itself, to the death.
By the Watchtowers and the Guardians, I pledge this oath.
So Mote It Be.

Where will stand when the time comes?
What will you tell your grandkids when they ask what you did when it all went down?

The Dark Goddess

Dark Goddess, please use this vessel as your vassal.
Scour away that which is the negative in my path with your blistering, cleansing Fire.
Wash away the filth that buries my soul with your purifying Waters.
Whisk away that which deters me from spiritual balance with the Air of your breath.
Bury me under the crushing weight that is your body, the Earth.
Free me.
Burn through me.
Burn me out, so that I may ground myself to the Earth once again.
So Mote it Be.

Anxiety

On a more personal note, as if there was such a thing for me.
I've noticed that over the years, it's becoming harder for me to meet people in real life and strike up conversation.
The HIRL downtown Orlando a couple weeks ago was a prime example of that.
At first, I almost backed out and left before anyone got there.
Then the first few people started trickling in and I felt trapped.
Anxiety started tearing, clawing at me.
Screaming for me to run.
Run away before they hear you speak.
Before they see through the facade you put up for most of the public.
Before the happy go lucky guy that they are looking at crumbles into the broken, damaged soul that sits in front of his computer day after day, trying to connect with other people in the only way that is sterile and comfortable, just in the hopes of finding other people that are maybe even a percentage as fucked in the head as he is.
Then the awesomeness that is humanity shined its light upon that man, beers were ingested, then the anxiety started to subside a little.
The screams and claw marks started to fade, just a tad.
By the end of the night, things weren't so bad.
Awesome sauce people were met from all corners of the world.
Pics were taken, smiles were freely given in the absence of fucks to give.
But all the while, the demons await the deafening silence of solitude.
Vying for the chance to ply their awful trade of self doubt, destruction of self image, all the other classic hits.
They will have their day again, they always do somehow.
No matter what weapons we devise in the fight against our demons, they almost always stay one step ahead.
Sometimes though, we are able to outpace them, yet they are never out of the rearview.
Embrace your demons, learn them, take power in the knowledge of them and their vile existence.
For that is the only way to keep them in your rearview.

(Rant over)